Ever since I was young I knew that I was different. And by different I don’t mean the good kind such as sports or musical talent. You get the idea. I was different in that I never felt like I fit in. At every stage of my life I felt like an imposter in the very own world I had no choice but to live in. I failed to find genuine happiness, purpose, motivation in things that everyone else found these in. Within 28 years, the only thing that has changed is my polished ability to adapt and pretend like I fit in. I kid you not I am pretty damn good at it. I would like to think I’ve pretty much perfected it to the point sometimes I actually believe it. Until I snap back into reality and realize I still am and feel like an imposter.

I’ve had and still have “friends” to whom I’ve shared a glimpse of my world but in the end I’ve found that this only furthered the feeling of not belonging. Some people point to the lack of religion in my life or even a lack of a significant other. As an imposter in a society that naturally conforms to societal norms, you often get labeled a whole bunch of things such as weird, strange, ungrateful, or sensitive. It’s usually never in a positive context. I don’t blame them. It is not their obligation to empathize or even sympathize with me. In their eyes I am just an imposter that doesn’t belong. I am the weird one. There is something wrong with me and not them. I get it. Although I may be an imposter in this world. It is ever so apparent that we as people are driven by selfish motivations and find it hard to accept anything different from our own selves. Add individual pride into this mix and your have a recipe for something I want absolutely no part of. This has an amplifying effect as like minded individuals gather to form pockets of society and ultimately develop something we like to glorify as culture.

If you happen to be a part of a group and don’t fit in then good luck to you. Either get out of there or your life is gonna be an emotional roller coaster ride.